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Thursday, 12 July 2012

Milka: Oreo

I like chocolate and I like Oreos.


What if I'm far too lazy to get a packet of Oreos and some chocolate separately, take a mouthful of each and chew them together inside my face? It takes up too much time and people look at me strangely in the supermarket.

What I want is for Milka to insert all my favourite biscuits into their chocolate for me. I don't care if that means they have to make whole new machines for their factories or employ extra chocolate technicians to work out the "math". That's not my problem. Just do it please.

Thank you.

But why stop at putting biscuits into chocolate? Why not put crisps into an olive, or stuff a pickled onion into a cake? Think of all the time we could save. I would like to live in a world where I no longer have to eat three courses separately, instead all my meals - starter, first course, pudding / breakfast, lunch, dinner - will be combined into just one dish. Maybe in the form of a horrible pie.

Not the pie I was talking about earlier

But before that can happen, we have to accept Milka with Oreo in it. If it's success then maybe they can move on to the pickled onion thing, but it's important we embrace this bold first move.

Rare glance under the surface of a Milka Oreo segment

But Monsieur Gobble Monkey, what if we don't like Milka with Oreo? I hear you ask - well don't panic it's  as nice as you'd expect - all the good bits of an Oreo (i.e. the biscuit bits and the creme filling) combined with all the good bits of Milka chocolate (i.e. the chocolate). And if you hang on for a second and stop barking inane questions at me, you'll find out I'm about to hand it a massive Gobble Monkey 6 out 7.

Milka with Oreo, £1.45, available from Cyber Candy 
Gobble Monkey says 6 out of 7 (see told you)