Twix McFlurry

So way back in Jan 2012, I wondered if this year would see the release of the almost mythical "Twix McFlurry" from McDonald's. Now I'm not saying the McDonald's bigwigs religiously read Gobble Monkey and obey it's every directive, but check this out:

It's just a massive co-incidence, right Ronald McDonald?

Hmmm anyway when Ronald McDonald started McDonald's restaurants back in the 1950s no one could have possibly dreamed of a Twix McFlurry. If you said the words "Twix McFlurry" to a 1950s American gentleman he would have probably called you a "nancy boy", punched you in the face and told you to get off his land before he shot you.

The words were literally meaningless. 

So a lot of people laughed at Ronald McDonald back then when he went around muttering things like "McFlurry" and "Fillet-O-Fish" incessantly. But that was mostly because he insisted on wearing make-up at all times. Plus back then people actually liked clowns and found them at least moderately amusing.

These days everyone hates clowns and finds them evil, and Ronald hasn't been allowed to appear in his own adverts since 1994, when he was replaced by things like salad and the Chicken Maestro.

Anyway, thank god that mental clown man stuck with his crazy ice-cream-mixed-with-a-popular-chocolate-bar idea because now in June 2012 they have finally reached their pinnacle.

So what do they taste like? Well, if you can imagine some cheap soft ice-cream with a Twix crumbled up in it, then you're most of the way there. Luckily that just about describes probably the best dessert combination of all time. Thanks Ron.

Twix McFlurry, McDonalds, 1.39p
Gobble Monkey says 6 out of 7
More Mcflurries

McDonald's DOUBLE TASTE SHAKES

EXCITING NEW McDONALD'S MILKSHAKES ALERT!
Look! 'Double Taste' Shakes! They look exciting don't they? There are two 'Double Taste' flavours: Double Taste Tropical & Vanilla and Double Taste Double Choc. (They even doubled the word double in that one).

Basically these are your regular McDonald's vanilla and chocolate shakes, with extra flavoured syrup. But in their wisdom, McDonalds have decided that rather than putting the syrup on the top like any normal milkshake emporium would do, they've squirted it all round the insides of the cup. This means that after sucking up all the milkshake, you're left with the syrup stuck around the cup and have to scoop it up with the straw like this:

So it's not a 'Double Taste' shake, it's a normal boring shake followed by some flavoured syrup eaten off a straw. It's actually really difficult + messy to eat up the syrup with the straw, and not worth the effort either. I could easily just buy a bottle of chocolate syrup and a straw from the supermarket, then squidge it all round a mug if I wanted to do that. In fact, I did:

And it was miles better.
Alright, while we're in McDonald's, let's talk about the McFlurry for a minute. Remember the legend of how Banoffee pies were invented when a cook accidentally knocked a tin of condensed milk into a pan of water, and discovered it turned to caramel? Well McFlurrys were apparently invented when Ronald McDonald accidentally knocked skimmed milk, cream, sugar, whey powder, glucose syrup, stabilisers (E412 guar gum, E471 mono- and diglycerides of fatty acids, E407 carrageenan (standardised with sugars) and some Smarties into a dustbin.

ANYWAY we all know the top three McFlurries are thus:

3) Oreo Caramel
2) Oreo
1) Toffee Crisp

(Why has there never been a TWIX McFlurry? Twix would be the ULTIMATE McFlurry. Why not email Ronald McDonald directly HERE with the Subject Heading: TWIX MCFLURRY IMMEDIATELY PLEASE)

But what chocolate bar would you LEAST like to see in a McFlurry? What is the one that NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would ask for? That's right a *&@$ing Drifter. I haven't even SEEN a Drifter for sale in a shop for about 6 years. But Ronald McDonald obviously has, and he thought it would be a good idea to put one in a McFlurry. Now take a look the Drifter McFlurry I got compared to the promotional image:

Is there actually ANY Drifter in this McFlurry? Maybe one piece of chocolate and one piece of wafer that tasted like a soggy cornflake. Well you did me a favour Ronald McDonald, cos this McFlurry is 3x better for NOT having any @&*@%^&ing Drifter in it.
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McDonald's Double Taste Shakes, McDonalds £1.89
Gobble Monkey says: 2 out of 7