Butteries

Imagine a salty flat croissant. I bet you never thought you'd have to imagine such a thing did you? But now you have imagined one, imagine eating it. Finished? Did you like it? You did?

WELL IN YOUR FACE ENGLISHMAN - you've just imagined eating a Buttery.  And you loved it.

The English love to constantly have a pop at Scottish cuisine HA HA HA fried mars bar, haggis, irn bru etc
WHATEVS - this is coming from a country who's national dish is a lump of meat that's been shoved in the oven for 7hrs, then placed next to three potatoes and a sprout. That and Monster Munch.

Anyway, what the English don't realise is that their Tartan cousins also invented these:

BUTTERIES. Scotland's secret pastry.

Can you guess what the main ingredient is?

WRONG actually there is NO butter involved - just lard and margarine. But what is butter but a cheap lard substitute anyway?

(notice that 'salt' is listed not once but twice on the ingredients. That is a good clue to the taste. A more accurate name for a 'buttery' would in fact be a 'Saltie')

In the olden days, a Scottish fisherman would take a Buttery to sea, it's high salt content keeping it from going off during long journeys.

Today, you toast them for breakfast and then add butter (OR EXTRA LARD). Top with a sweet conserve or honey to counter-act the saltiness, and they become incredibly moreish.

If the Buttery had been created in France, we'd all be scoffing them at posh dinner parties in Kent while talking incessantly about Stamp Duty and that new Waitrose that's opened on the high street. Instead, no one outside Aberdeen has ever even seen one, and if they did, they'd probably throw it back into the sea from whence (they believed) it came.

And you claim not to be a massive racist? THINK AGAIN MY FRIEND, THINK AGAIN.

Butteries, £1.35 for four
Gobble Monkey says 6 out of 7