Do you like Millionaire's Shortcakes?
Well, then imagine the expression on YOUR face when you see THESE on the supermarket shelf:
Well let's see just how excited Mike Benton, Marketing Controller at McVitie’s Cake Company is:
“With a younger range of consumers buying into the Twix brand than the current Slice segment and with incredibly high brand awareness in the UK, Twix Caramel Slices will drive incremental sales for retailers by attracting more consumers into the Slices category.”
CALM DOWN MIKE! I mean, we're all thrilled that AT LAST there's going to be more incremental sales in the Slices category! But wait, hang on, there's a 'Slice SEGMENT' and a 'Slice CATERGORY'? I'm confused, Mike. You didn't explain it well enough. I'm less excited now. You've spoiled it.
Sadly, they taste as though they've been in the cupboard for 18mths. The 'shortcake base' is soft and damp, letting down the whole biscuit. Perhaps they were trying to get away from the crunchy shortcake on the traditional Twix, but it's the crumbly texture of the biscuit base that defines the Millionaire Shortcake. These slices taste like you've just eaten one of your nan's sweaty flapjacks that you've taken on a long car journey on a very hot day.
Alright so that's Twix Caramel Slices. But while we're here, let's take a quick look at the new TOFFEE DODGERS - these counterparts to Burton's more traditional Jammie Dodgers look like they will BE DISGUSTING.
But before we judge, lets listen to what David Costello, Burton’s Foods’ Category and Activation Controller, had to say:
Exposed toffee! I love exposed toffee! Why hasn't anyone exposed toffee sooner?! Anyway, he goes on:
“Growth will come not only from Jammie Dodgers’ loyalists adding toffee to their repertoire, but more importantly, from consumers who are new to the Dodgers brand trading up from everyday biscuits."
For a start, 'Jammie Dodgers loyalists' sound well dodgy. Does anyone like Jammie Dodgers that much? Secondly - even if they did exist, i would imagine a Jammie Dodger Loyalist would have a very small biscuit 'repertoire' probably consisting PURELY of Jammie Dodgers. I'm not sure messing about with their precious Jammie Dodger is going to go down well. If anything, David, I think the Jammie Dodger Loyalists are going to completely reject the Toffee Dodger, overthrow your evil Burton Foods empire and burn your office down. Luckily THEY DON'T EXIST YOU WALLY.
However, Toffee Dodgers are actually quite nice - they not only trump their jammy brothers, but they are twice as tasty the Twix Caramel Slice. The biscuits are incredibly hard and crunchy and the toffee is stiff and chewy, meaning the whole thing is satisfyingly tough, perfect for dunking. 5 out of 7.
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Twix Caramel Slices, pack of six for £1.49
Interestingly vague ingredient: Milk Fat
Sour Level: zero
Gobble Money says: 1 out of 7