Fred Ferkel: An Apology

Imagine having to apologise to this:

Look at his stupid lemonade drinking smug face. It makes me sick. But I must say it:

I AM SORRY FRED FERKEL I WAS WRONG.

Previously, I had accused Fred Frekel, the pig sweet produced by German confectionary giant Katjes, as being a Percy Pig IMPOSTOR.

BUT.
Yesterday I found this interesting article from the Independent about the Percy phenomenon which includes the following passage:

The idea for a foamy sweet came from a German manufacturer called Katjes, but it wasn't until the original <Marks and Spencers>  product team led by Julia Catton came up with the Percy character that it could be manufactured in the kind of volume that would keep Katjes and Marks & Spencer happy.

Catton, remembers that time well. "It was the mid-1990s, we'd already made a few yoghurt gum and licorice products with Katjes but nothing had really worked in the UK, so a team of us went out to Germany to thrash around some ideas. We sat around a table and drew a blank. Eventually, the Katjes people said, 'We'll leave you here for an hour and see if you can come up with anything.' I looked up and saw a licorice panda sweet with different coloured ears. Next thing I knew, I had drawn Percy Pig on a piece of paper."

TAPPSY. Percy Pig is BASED ON TAPPSY.

BLOODY TAPPSY THE PANDA

I like the idea of the "Katjes people" forcing the poor British M&S people to be locked in an office until they came up with a idea. What would have happened if they hadn't thought of one? (THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED) And in the end, Catton just looked at a panda and drew a picture of pig. Which took her at least ONE HOUR. That's what the pressure of being tortured to death by German sweet manufacturers does to you I guess.

(By the way, Julia, THIS

took me 45 seconds.  Just saying. )

So anyway it seems that Percy and Fred are twins, born at the same moment, evolving simultaneously out of the same racist liquorish panda.

TAPPSY IS THE ORIGINAL PERCY.

I can't believe it.

Like any good journalist, I went back to Marks and Spencers to challenge them on this new information. This was their response:

gobblemonkey @marksandspencer are Fred Ferkel and Percy Pig one and the same?

marksandspencer @gobblemonkey There's only one Percy Pig :)

Technically there are BILLIONS of Percy Pigs and even more if you count the gazillions of Fred Ferkels stinking up Germany. So why do M&S continue to try and cover up the existence of Fred? Is he the good twin and Percy the evil one? Who knows? Who cares? (I care.)

Anyway, from now on, I will NEVER buy another Percy Pig again, instead I will be importing all my pig sweet needs from Katjes' see-through candy factory in Potsdam.

THE END