Galaxy Flutes

What do you do if you're on a diet but you still want to constantly eat chocolate?

a) eat an apple
b) pour yourself some Diet Coke, put on Sex and The City and think about buttercups for a bit
OR
c) eat some 'health chocolate'

Most chocolate companies have a lighter product for their more "discerning customer" - eg Mars Delight, KitKat Senses and - i can barely bring myself to write it - the Twix Fino.

Basically, making chocolate healthy entails shoving some wafer in it and giving it a poncy name.

So here's the latest Galaxy health chocolate:

Flute, because flutes are light and floaty you see. Whereas a trombone is big and heavy. Galaxy Trombones would not work. Neither would Galaxy Extra Fat Oboe.

(Note the thin lower case font used to write flutes - they couldn't have made those letters any thinner could they? This is what you will look like if you eat Galaxy flutes.)

Here's what Galaxy say about the Flutes (sorry flutes):

“Galaxy Flutes perfectly encapsulate the indulgence and pleasure which have become synonymous with the Galaxy brand and are a perfect treat for a luxurious snack for discerning chocolate lovers.

Consumers will love the benefit of a combination of textures with the mix of wafer and cream providing an ideal afternoon snacking moment."

Hmmmm that sounds like the very definition of delicious doesn't it! (If you asked a robot to define delicious).

How could these possibly be low fat?! Look at all the nice words they use:

indulgence
pleasure
perfect
treat
luxurious
discerning
ideal afternoon snacking moment

These are going to be amazing right? Do you want to have a look? You do?

OK PREPARE YOUR EYES....
.
.
.
READY TO LOOK AT AN INDULGENT PERFECT PLEASURE TREAT?
.
.
.
GO!

Remember ladies, you may ONLY eat these in the afternoon

You see by "discerning chocolate lovers", what Galaxy really mean is desperate chocolate lovers.

My advice, just eat a twix then go for a walk afterwards.

Or try my new invention - it's called Dairy Milk Pan Pipe, and it's basically a chocolate covered piece of raw asparagus. Only 3 calories.

(As for me, I'm going to be buying all my Galaxy Flutes from this guy - 24 for £2.39!! That's less than 10p a bar! Still in date! Perfect for Halloween! And he's got a nice beard.)



Galaxy Flutes, 50p 
Gobble Monkey says 5 out of 7