McVitie's Quirks

This is a Quirk.

That's right, it's not a rabbit dropping - it's one of McVitie's hilarious new biscuits.
 

Quirks are so quirky they just HAD to call them Quirks! It was the only name that truly summed up just how quirky they are. The quirkiness of Quirks basically comes down to this:

under the biscuit shell, there's a layer of chocolate paste.

OR more accurately:

Please excuse me the Quirk-o-meter just exploded.

'crunchy' is in a bold font and 'smooth' is in italics! What bold packaging!

It's just a suggestion, but isn't that a bit unquirky? Wouldn't it have been slightly more quirky if it was the OTHER way round? 'crunchy' in italics and 'smooth' in bold. Missed a trick there McVities.

ALSO what is this about 'Double Choc' - surely that is the whole quirky point of a Quirk? Wouldn't a 'Single Choc' Quirk just be a boring chocolate biscuit with no filling?* WHAT'S SO QUIRKY ABOUT THAT?

Let's see if Victoria Gregory, McVitie’s marketing controller, can explain.

"With its bold packaging, interesting name and unique product positioning, this quirky new range will attract new, younger consumers to the everyday treats segment, currently worth £317m."

VICTORIA, listen - just by saying your new biscuits are 'quirky' does NOT make them quirky. We already understand you think they are quirky. YOU CALLED THEM QUIRKS. And what does 'unique product positioning' mean anyway?

She continues:

“We recommend that this deliciously different range should be stocked alongside other everyday treat biscuits such as McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes, to help attract new shoppers to the biscuit fixture and grow sales. Retailers should stock up now to take advantage of the excitement generated by this new and unusual launch.”

Oh OK that's what 'unique product positioning' means - just stick 'em next to your other massively popular best-selling biscuits and hope idiots will accidentally knock them into their shopping baskets while reaching for a Jaffa Cake. STOCK UP NOW RETAILERS!

Sadly Quirks are rubbish. The soft, crumbly biscuit tastes like it's past its sell-by-date and the filling reminded me of a cheap chocolate spread, like the kind you get at a Continental Breakfast in a budget hotel in Brussels.

Have a close look at it:

McVitie's Quirks, £1.53
Gobble Monkey says: 2 out of 7

*I found out later that a 'Single Choc' Quirk has the same filling as a 'Double Choc' Quirk but with a plain biscuit. Sorry. It's still not quirky though.

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