Mars have done their market research and discovered that almost 100% of people who like Mars Bars ALSO like chocolate. Obviously this means that what people really want is a Mars Bar with chocolate flavour nougat and chocolate flavour caramel - THE TRIPLE CHOC.
This pointless remake of the Mars Bar takes the classic bar in two very new and startling directions:
1) It's in a brown wrapper
2) It tastes very similar to a normal Mars but slightly worse.
In fact, as the brown wrapper is chocolate coloured, I reckon you could get away with calling this QUADRUPLE CHOC. You missed a trick there Mars. YOU IDIOTS.
Here's my advice chocolate fans - if you like chocolate so much, just buy some Dairy Milk.
Anyway, what happened to Mars: Double Choc? I never saw that one on the shelves. They skipped that one and went straight to Triple. Mars should bring out a full range of chocolate and non-chocolate based Mars Bars like this:
Mars: Un-Choc - naked Mars Bar. Absolutely no chocolate involved
Mars: Single Choc - original Mars
Mars: Double Choc - chocolate covering and chocolate caramel
Mars: Triple Choc - chocolate caramel, chocolate nougat and chocolate covering
Mars: Quad-Choc - as Triple Choc, but with chocolate sprinkles on top
Mars: Mega-Choc - as Quad Choc, but with with two 99s stuck in it
Mars: Mega-Choc Extreme - solid chocolate Mars Bar
Mars: Ltd Edition Mental Mega-Choc Extreme Extra - as above but the wrapper is also made of chocolate and comes with a free chocolate button
I look forward to those.
Mars: Triple Choc (Limited Edition), 70p
Gobble Monkey says: 3 out of 7
An increase in calories of 11.9% accompanying a decrease in deliciousness of a similar order is a bad move.
ReplyDeleteFunny review! It does sound rather disappointing and even gross.
ReplyDeleteIt's not too gross, it's just not as good as a normal Mars. Unless you LOVE cheap chocolate-flavoured things of course. Also - it is slightly SMALLER than a normal Mars!
ReplyDeleteIve got one of these to review in the cupboard..will have to get it out soon!
ReplyDeleteI had one of these a few days ago.. If I hadn't known, I don't think I would have even realised it any different to a normal Mars..
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see the Mars: Ltd Edition Mental Mega-Choc Extreme Extra. They better be paying you for the idea!!
Tastes exactly the same as a normal Mars bar to me- overpoweringly sweet.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was just exactly like original Mars bars, albeit even more sickly. Its just too sweet to even be able to taste the low quality chocolate. A brand in decline.
ReplyDeletehaha! those ideas were hilarious. maestro,maestro
ReplyDelete