For a long time certain "wags" on the internet have enjoyed mocking Percy Pigs for their gelatine content, which of course ha ha ha is made from pork.
So by eating a Percy Pig, you are really eating a Percy Pig! (and various other unnamed but equally important pigs). Not such a big shock, as there is a massive drawing of a pig on the front of the packet. Hardly false advertising on the part of Marks and Spencers.
To make things fair, M&S have released these vegetarian Percies which contain zero gelatine. So now you can choose between pig sweets made of pig OR pig sweets not made of pig, but look like a pig and have a massive drawing of a pig on the front and big letters guaranteeing they don't contain any pig. Everyone clear?
If in any doubt, the 'Good' Percies have been marked with one green ear (THE RIGHT EAR) and the 'Bad' Percies have two pink ears. MAKE YOUR DECISION.
The green ear doesn't signify that Veggie Percies are environmentally friendly or made of pure asparagus - it just means that in the eventuality that someone (A MENTALIST) were to 'accidentally' mix a bag of Veg Percies with Non-Veg Percies, then you would be able to differentiate between them, thus eliminating all risk of tasting some gelatine.
On the Percy farm, I would worry that the 'green ears' and the 'pink ears' would form two rival warring factions, hell-bent on destroying each other for domination of the pen. Which pig army would Cola Cow and Orange Lemon side with? Would Colin the Caterpillar remain neutral? I think we ALL know where Penny would stand.
Anyway, 'Veggie Percy' have a slightly stickier consistency than a regular Percy, but they taste pretty much the same. (I expect Swizzles Matlow to bring out "Extra Pork Pig's Mugs now with LOADSA gelatine" soon.)
MORE ON EVIL PERCIES HERE
Veggie Percy, Marks and Spencers, £1.25 (NOT SUITABLE FOR VEGANS)
Special Ingredient: Hydrolysed Pea Protein
Gobble Monkey says: 6 out of 7
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