Flake: Allure

I find it sad that the global recession has made it difficult for chocolate companies to launch brand new products. Instead, it's less risky to piggyback a new concept onto an existing popular brand, like KitKat Senses, Cadbury's Bliss or Mars Delight.

While it is annoying when hippies from the Seventies bang on about Spangles for half an hour, there is a certain joy in recalling the classic sweets of yesteryear. And I can't imagine in 30 years people saying 'Oh Janet, remember the limited edition dark chocolate Boost that was around for about three months in the summer of 2009?'

The latest old bar to have a make-over is this: The Flake Allure. A flake dipped in truffle flavoured chocolate.

Look how Alluring it is! But then i spotted this on the wrapper:

Yeah yeah we've all heard the song, we all know it's the flakiest, crumbliest whatever, but what's this about "enrobing"? I thought they'd just got a machine to plonk a load of chocolate over a Flake, but no I was wrong - they've enrobed it! (Only half enrobed it though - fully enrobed would be ridiculous.)

It seems there's a simple formula to these variants. All you have to do is take an existing popular chocolate bar, plonk some 'truffle' or 'caramel' or 'vanilla' on top of it, add a slightly saucy sounding word on to the end of it to make it appeal to a female demographic, then write some nonsense to describe how sensuous it is.

So here are some new concepts for chocolate bars i will give for free to confectionary companies:

Yorkie: Boudoir - sexy milk chocolate oiled down with a moist truffle overcoat

Malteasers: Cheeky! - honeycomb balls, cheekily stripped naked of their chocolate covering.

Snickers: Erogenous - not sure what this is

Club: Bastard - a hardcore solid chocolate Club with the finest layer of marmite

I look forward to seeing these on the shelves soon.

ANYWAY, aside from its silly name, the Flake: Allure has nice flowery packaging and tastes better than a normal Flake (WHICH I HATE). Also the 'half enrobing' actually prevents the stupid flakey chocolate from crumbling all down your cardigan. So well done.
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Flake: Allure, Cadbury 59p
Gobble Monkey says: 4 out of 7