Galaxy Gift For You

Confectionery companies have begun to capitalise more aggressively on holidays in recent years. Before we just had a chocolate egg in a mug, or a cheap selection box featuring too many Bountys - these days, every Easter the shelves are stocked high with Malteaster Bunnys and Aero Lambs, and come December, Christmas stockings are stuffed with Aero Mint Xmas Trees and Lindt Reindeers...

But now, Galaxy have taken the logical step and bypassed all that with a chocolate product suitable for ANY occasion - the Galaxy Gift For You:




A Gift for ME? Oh Galaxy! You shouldn't have! THANK YOU.

BUT NO - this isn't for me. It's for YOU.

Galaxy have basically hijacked YOUR birthday / wedding anniversary / Yom Kippur.

Now ANY celebration, any celebration AT ALL, must be commemorated with the giving and receiving of a Galaxy Gift For You. NO other presents are required. Some people (NOT GOBBLE MONKEY) might find it offensive that Galaxy believe that a single Gift For You should be a compulsory gift to be given to a new mother on the day of the birth of her first child or presented to a visiting Sultan.

Never mind that the Galaxy Gift For You is actually technically NOT a present, it's merely a chocolate representation of a present. I for one never liked bows on presents anyway. Any bow would go straight in the bin. That's the problem with Galaxy Gift For You - the whole thing is the packaging - okay, it's packaging made of chocolate - but still, it's completely unwrappable, with nothing inside it save a bit of squishy caramel where a lovely wooden toy or a cardigan should be. Imagine a present you can never unwrap - that's the definition of cruelty. (I tried to unwrap it and I got really sticky fingers.)

Plus only HALF this lovely present is filled with caramel. I've no idea why. Obviously whoever gives this to you likes you, but not enough to give you the full quota of caramel. Maybe the full caramel gift is reserved only for Sultans.

  

But HOLD ON - check out what Bep Dhaliwal, Mars trade communications manager has to say about Galaxy Gift for You:

“Self-eat products have grown increasingly popular with consumers and they love treating themselves to something new from their favourite brands...Galaxy Gift for You is sure to be a success"

SELF-EAT? Treating MYSELF??? So this is actually supposed to be a gift for ME from ME? And I still don't get the full caramel version!? How is it a 'Gift For Me' if I'm the one paying 65p for it? Well listen Galaxy, if I have to buy myself a chocolate-based present, it's going to be a Twix.

No, make that a King-Size Twix. I deserve it.

(Galaxy Gift For You is however very tasty, and for future reference I would gladly receive this as a supplementary present for all my future birthdays/Christian festivals.)

Galaxy Gift For You, 65p
Gobble Monkey says: 5 out of 7