Cadbury Screme Egg

Like all the Christian festivals, Halloween (well known to be Jesus's favourite holiday) is inherently linked to sweets and chocolate.

So I'm sure Jesus would have approved of Cadbury's decision to re-brand its classic Easter treat as a spooky Halloween one.

By simply adding the letter 'S' in front on the word 'creme', Cadbury's have instantly transformed the humble chocolate egg into something utterly terrifying. A masterstroke. I can barely stand to look at it, unless it is by peeking through my fingers.

But WAIT it's not just a horrifying letter that has been changed. OH NO. Cadbury's have also made the (usually yellow) 'yolk' GREEN.

THE WORLD'S SCARIEST COLOUR.

BRRR I AM TREMBLING.

I wonder what other chocolates could be made more scary by adding a letter/changing a colour? I will give these concepts free to Cadbury for next year:

Marsh Bar (yes a marsh like a bog. That is scary. The nougat in this is green.)
Lions Bar (two lions are scarier than one. The lions on the packet are green.)
Flakey (skin)

Anyway, I extracted the green 'yolk' to make sure it doesn't taste any different. IT DOESN'T. That would have been a step to far for the Cadbury master-minds. The colour green is terrifying ENOUGH without bothering to make it taste different.

Just ask Natasha Briant-Evans, Cadbury brand manager for events. She says: “Cadbury Screme Egg is back, bringing with it some gruesome gooiness to the Halloween season. Consumers will enjoy its unexpectedly green yolk, giving them the opportunity to enjoy the classic taste of a Creme Egg out of the usual Easter season.”

WELL NOT NOW YOU'VE GIVEN AWAY THE SURPRISE NATASHA! Also I'm not really sure how much pleasure I can derive purely from the colour green, unexpected or not, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to spend money on your products at other times of the year. What a lovely favour.

At least Jesus would have approved - he hated a lot of Easter - and, nice co-incidence, his favourite colour was green.

The main problem is, an egg is intrinsically UN-scary. There are no gothic horror novels based on evil undead eggs or scary movies featuring eggs in scary masks killing babysitters. I can never be scared of an egg, least of all one with a green yolk. I would just throw it in the bin.

An egg CANNOT defeat me, it is simple fact - I am more powerful than any egg. Unless of course the egg hatched and it had a dinosaur or a ghost in it or something. Cadbury's should have thought about doing that. OR, invent a scary story about a man who is haunted by a ghostly Cadbury's Creme Egg. Maybe the man had carelessly stepped on a discarded Cadbury's Creme Egg one morning on his way to work, then is forever finding them turning up unannounced in his fridge. I'm trembling again as I type this. That is genuinely scary, green yolk or not.

Cadbury Screme Egg, 55p
Gobble Monkey says: 4 out of seven

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