Halloween Round-Up: Part Two

After Part One, some mega-brains have been mouthing off about a couple of things:

1) AH GOBBLE MONKEY, YOU SAID THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS AN UNSPOOKY GHOST - BUT WHAT ABOUT CASPER - THE 'FRIENDLY' GHOST? YOU FORGOT ABOUT HIM DIDN'T YOU?

Yes I did forget about him. But while Casper might be the world's most useless ghost, however 'friendly' he is, he's still the paranormal apparition of a LITTLE DEAD BOY. So that is still spooky. And I guarantee that if this:

floated into your house, you would be pretty spooked, whether or not he offered you a cup of tea and a biscuit.

2) UM, EXCUSE ME MONSIEUR SINGE GOBER YOU SAID THERE HAS NEVER BEEN AN ORANGE GHOST BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ORANGE GHOST FROM 1980 VIDEO GAME ARCADE SMASH PAC-MAN?

So sorry, I should have said "NO ONE has ever since an orange ghost (since 1980's video game arcade smash Pac-Man)". I'll go back and edit it now**. But look closely at the stupid face of this ghost - he is almost as simple as his Haribo cousin! It just goes to show all orange ghosts are rubbish.

SIDE FACT! In my extensive research for this review*, I discovered that the orange ghost from Pac-Man was called Otoboke in the original Japanese game, which translates as 'stupid'. DANS VOTRE VISAGE MON AMI!

Now let's eat some more Halloween sweets.

CADBURY DEAD HEADS

Look at the evil witch, tempting you in with her evil coquettish eyes! DON'T TRUST HER! OK maybe trust her, cos these are basically caramel filled chocolate eggs with skeleton faces. They won't poison you (probably, who knows with Cadburys?)

Inside, the caramel is red, like blood.

These eggs (THEY ARE EGGS NOT HEADS) are quite scary. I know I once claimed that I could NEVER be scared by an egg, but I was lying. I think Deadheads are actually quite troubling.
Gobble Monkey says: SPOOKINESS LEVEL 7

SNOT SHOTS 

You know when you're out and about and just need a quick shot of snot? Well these are perfect:

What are Snot Shots? Simple:

Snot Shots Sour Tutti Fruity Bubble Gum Chewing Gum.

Has anyone ever written down those words in that order ever before? What does that sentence even mean?

For a start, Tutti Fruitti is spelt wrong, and if Snot Shots really contain 'All Fruits' (which according to my extensive research* means 'usually containing cherries, raisins and pineapple') I will gladly donate all my worldly goods to charity (5 bananas and an empty bottle of Turbo Tango) and go back to the Coco-pops Monkey's slave factory. Secondly, are these bubble gum or chewing gum? No one knows.

They are very sour though, and almost painful on the tongue.
Gobble Monkey says: SPOOKINESS LEVEL 2

MEGA MOUTH: Witches Brew

Why bother having to chew anything anyway? With Mega-Mouth, you can get the sugar into your system as quickly and effectively as possible by simply spraying the liquid candy directly into your throat. I wish all food came in spray form and then our teeth could be left exclusively for smiling which I believe is what God intended.

(Check out the coolio ghost on the front! He has his cap on back to front. No way would he hang out with that dweeb Casper.)

Be careful spraying Mega-Mouth though, mistakes can easily happen. That why they have to put this warning on the back: AVOID SPRAYING IN THE EYES.

Having said that, this could be an effective weapon if treats aren't forthcoming when trick'n'treating.

If you do manage to get the spray into your mouth, you'll find this 'Blue Raspberry' flavour from Bazooka is incredibly intense - like neat squash times one million. And it is very moreish.
Gobble Monkey says: SPOOKINESS LEVEL: 10

*wikipedia
**i won't

GO TO PART ONE